This Casting Crown Song was played on Thursday at Carter's funeral. I looked it up this morning and found the following video. I have to say it seemed easier during the first few days to Praise the Lord during this Storm. But as today is the 10th day we have been without our precious son Carter, each day is getting tougher. I really expected things to get easier. I keep going through stages of anger. Not with the Lord, but just with life and the World. I hate this feeling. I am really starting to hate being ignored, or having people treat us different. People calling with the sympathy sound in their voice to ask how we are. Even friends that are ignoring us because they do not know what to say. There are moments when I think I can't go on, because my heart and arms hurt so deeply. I know that God will sustain us and that He will carry us through this storm for sure.
God has brought several people into our lives during this storm. There is one family, The Chappell's who lost their son Asher about 45 minutes after we lost Carter. I went to college with Dan. Just thought that was amazing how God is bringing people in our situation right to us. All the people in the world that have been through this will not help bring my Carter back to my arms. It is comforting to know that we are not alone. We will continue to Praise the Lord even in this Storm.
Prayer request that are burdening my heart:
*My physical health - still healing from the infection and giving birth
*Brent needing to go back to work and leaving me alone
*Emotional healing (my ache arms, broken heart, empty feeling in my stomach)
*Overwhelming desire to have more children and the health concerns that come along with that
*Trusting the Lord to take care of our financial needs (I am not working, and since I am a contractor that is tough. Plus the hospital bills, funeral cost and all that comes with this situation)
* Brent and I to learn how to just be in this situation. To be honest with how we feel and not try be over cautions towards how others are feeling so that we are not making them uncomfortable being around us (we are learning to just be and be okay with grief right now)
* God will provide for the memorial fund in Carter's honor at our church.
Thank you in advance for the prayers!
7 comments:
You don't know me, I'm a friend of Jen's, but I've been praying for you, and I will continue to pray for you. I'll pray for each of these requests for you, that they come together for you in His Divine time. I just want you to know that you are not alone, though friends don't know what to say, even strangers are crying and praying for you, and mourning Carter's loss in this world with you. I've not experienced your level of pain, we tried 4 years for my son, and he was born with all sorts of health problems. Trials and Tribulations. This Casting Crowns song has brought me strength too, calling to my heart on multiple occasions, to praise him during the storm. The storm doesn't end, I don't think we ever get over the pain, but somehow God gives us strength and the shelter to survive it. May it be so for you.
I just got back from Grace's school and let me tell you what my dear sweet Diva did while I was at your place. She went to school last week and told all the teachers and kids that I was out of town to see my friend Jenna and told them why (the best a 6 yr old understands) and that they needed to pray for you guys. So I walk in today and all the teachers (most I have not met yet but somehow know me) came up asking me how my friend was and to tell me that Grace said they needed to pray for you and let me know that they have been. I would have thought Camden would have been the one to do something like that but life full of surprises:) Just know that there is a whole school in Wake Forest praying for you guys because of Grace.
I did not know Dan that well in school but I used to see them around WF, I am so sad for them. Where are they these days?
thanks for being so honest..it looks like blogging might be very healthy for you right now! I'm listening and reading..praying and petitioning God to bring healing to you both. I can't quite imagine your pain, but it sounds like God is speaking to you guys in neat ways..it's so neat that your saw your delivery nurse! I love you both and will continue to pray pray!
I am SO GLAD that you are able to communicate with all of us at large and tell us how you are feeling (without having to repeat it 30 times) through this blog. What an awesome thing! So glad we are living in this age!
I love you both and, of course, am praying hourly for you! I will never be able to listen to that song the same way again- such a blessing to have all the thoughts and feelings put to music like that...
Jenna- I will be praying for you and Brent doing this difficult time and the specific requests that you mentioned. Love you!
Still praying for you....Praise to a God who comforts.
Love the family picture and adore the daddy picture! much love to you all...
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