Sunday, December 14, 2008

He did it again

The memorial Christmas tree. Each person who died this year had an ornament on the tree

The sweet lady that was the speaker.

The end of a good week, that without the the saving power of Jesus Christ, would have been terrible. But several times this week, the Lord showed up, went before us and laid out the red carpet for us to walk on. We of course had our service on Tuesday at the funeral home, and ran into some friends from church who were there celebrating the life of their mom. Then of course Wednesday was such a great day for both Brent and I. I was able to eat lunch with very special friends and then I went shopping for the rest of the afternoon! I had a blast. While I was finishing my relaxing evening by taking a bath... (doesn't that just sound relaxing) Brent went to church in order to practice being a shepherd for the Cantata on Sunday. He is going to be the Shepherd that takes baby Jesus (played by our pastors granddaughter) out of the manager and off the stage. He was so overjoyed that he was able to hug and love all over that sweet 8 month old baby! (a little history with Brent and small children. He loves kids as long as they talk and are able to potty on their own!) This was such a blessing. Then he and I went on a Krispy Kreme run like we were back in college. It was such a blast.

To wrap up the week, we went to TWO Christmas parties on Friday (one for lunch and one for dinner). Both were special times with special friends and just a neat way to celebrate this season. Saturday night ended out week of remembrance. We had a candlelight service at the cemetery. Again, both of us were a little nervous about the night. WHY? I don't know, because the Lord provided again. A sweet family who were loved at our last church, lost their dad and husband this summer. As we were standing out in large crowd of people in the cold, I saw a lady out of the corner of my eye and realized it was my friend Ms. Peggy and her family. We didn't even know her husband was in the same cemetery. The place was so pretty with the full moon and all of the luminaries that surrounded the entire place. It really was beautiful. Brent and I both agreed unlike some cemeteries, this one is not spooky in any way. It is just peaceful! Each time we go, there is such a feeling of peace that overcomes you. There's the red carpet coming out again! Thank you Jesus for coming and taking care of every detail in our lives.
This is the entrance of the cemetery

Carter is buried in the section of the cemetery called "Devotion". This is the statue that is in the middle of that garden. (Each garden has a different monument.) This happens to be a bible with opened to the Lord's prayer

Carter's marker is still not in yet, but we still placed the candle on his grave.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

All in one week

The anticipation of this week has been much worse than the actually week itself. Of course we still have two more days before the week is officially over, but so far, so good. The week began with a special service we were invited to attend on Tuesday evening at the funeral home we used for Carter. It is a special Christmas service designed for anyone who has lost a loved on during the past year. We were so blessed how the Lord took care of so many intimate details down to the Christian run funeral home we used. During the service there was a wonderful women who shared about her journey since loosing her husband 6 years ago. She still got chocked up talking about her loss. She had been married for 51 years when her husband died. They also had a tree decorated with red ball ornaments that had the name of each person that died this year who the funeral home helped. It was precious. It wasn't so much sad for us, as it was just a sweet time of reflection.

Wednesday was the official date we were given that Carter was due. As my friend and I had talked about, it wasn't so much a day to remember or make a big deal out of, because the chances that Carter would had been born on that day, was slim. Although, now it is nice that my mind doesn't think I should be 7 months, 8 months of 9 months pregnant, but instead now I can personalize the fact that my little boy would had been 4 months old right now. At the same time, so far this week has helped me to focus on the moving forward process. We still have one more service to attend this week (I can't believe it was all in one week) at the cemetery. There is another candle light service at the cemetery this weekend. I do feel like Brent and I both in a much better place emotionally and looking forward to seeing what 2009 brings for us. We of course still have Christmas day, but I believe even that day will be okay. (I may be wrong). The hard thing is that I don't want others to forget, because we will never forget, but at the same time I like going at our pace.
I can not deny that Lord continues to show us His faithfulness in all areas of our life. For me, I feel such a freedom to do what is needed for me according to what I feel the Lord has for me right now. No regrets and no guilt involved. We have had so many things change in our lives this year. So many things that I look back and think why Lord did you do it that way. Then I look in the now and even look forward and see... that's why. There are still the days of jealousy, depression, hurt, pain, and even days when I feel forgotten. But.. those days getting less and less and I am seeing the Lords face more and more. The journey continues, just as He planned!!