Friday, January 21, 2011

Need a miracle

So my great intentions of blogging more often have once again been disrupted. I had been so excited to finally share that we had FINALLY gotten pregnant again and FINALLY made it past the first trimester and THEN.....we arrive to today.  I sent out this message to several friends on facebook today.  This is our need of prayer and miracle from God.

"We found out yesterday that this baby has significant fluid around it's body and it's looking like we will lose the baby at some point (maybe soon but could be as late as full term). If the baby doesn't die in the womb then it will be born as a dwarf with either noonan or turner syndrome. Both of those syndrome carry some pretty big health issues such a heart issues and other issues we have not explored yet, because we just can't go there today. There are no other safe test that we can do at this moment so we have made the choice to wait it out and see what God does. We have heard of stories of complete healing and having perfectly normal babies. Even with the prognosis as bad as ours (fluid around the back of the neck means down syndrome. Normal downs kids have 2mm of fluid. This baby has 10 - 12 mm of fluid from the neck to the bottom of the spine and then on top of the belly). We just pray that God will either heal this baby, or take this baby fast or allow us to go full term and have the baby live after delivery and we will love it no matter the challenges. Just don't want to lose this little one later and have to go through all that we went through with Carter again. "

I told Brent last night that I know I can't demand anything from the Lord and that I don't deserve anything from Him either.  But my struggle for today is trying not to have the mindset that He owes us this baby and He owes me this baby the way He provides babies all over the world as "perfect health."  Our hearts are confused and hurt.  But we are clinging to the fact that God has our best intentions for our lives and never promised us easy journeys.  We will walk just a day at a time and pray and believe that He can and will heal this baby. 

Thanks in advance for all encouragement and prayer. We are boldly asking everyone we know and don't know to intercede for us and pray for healing and a miracle. We are both in shock and overwhelmed right now but surrounded by amazing people who have wrapped us up already and loved us more than we deserve. Thanks for being willing to love us, pray for us and encourage us. We are so very blessed. We just trust the Lord's heart even when we can't trace His hand.

Brent, Jenna and Baby Spears