Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Not Again

I had just walked in the door from work and my husband had that look on his face. He looked sick to his stomach almost, as if something terrible had just happened. I was right. Something terrible had just happened. It had happened again. Very close friends of ours found out that their baby passed away in their mom's womb today. She is 25 weeks pregnant and without any warning, his little heart beat stopped and their son is now with the Lord. The father is like a younger brother to me. When I was in college, I lived with this family for a few years. Earlier this Spring when Brent and I had found out we were expecting our second baby, our friends found out they were expecting their first. And now they are left with questions, pain, fear, hurt, sadness, sorrow, anger, frustration, and a whole mess of confusion on what could have happened. She will go in early in the am to be induced and deliver their first child. I can hear the doctors telling me Carter was going to die all over again. It's as if I am back in that moment. Why does this keep happening? That was the first thing that popped into my head. Lord, I am sick of this sinful world. The pain is getting worse the older we get. I just spend an hour working with a client about the unfairness of life. He was struggling understanding why life is so unjust, and I came home to more injustice. Just last week, a 14 year old boy, who used to attend our church, accidentally hung himself in his own backyard! We have a plan for our kids lives and having a funeral for them is never part of that plan.

I have been struggling this past month with the frustration of not getting pregnant as fast as "I" had planned on. I had a grand, well thought out plan, that I would surprise my sweet husband on father's day with the big news that we were expecting again. Except that never happened. I became obsessed with test taking. I was determined that I must be pregnant because I was feeling pregnant. Just a reminder that I have to stop relying on my feelings and only stand on truth. It's not about my timing. It's not about my plans. It's not about my feelings. It's not about my wants. It's what the Lord has planned for me! He cares about my timing, plans, feelings, wants. He knows them too! (just in case I do remind him at least two or three times a day! He he. Of course, He reminds me right back that He's got it!!!)

I will never understand this world. I don't want to understand this world. I so desire to see what God wants me to do next! He has placed such a burden in my heart and the desire is growing stronger the more hurt, sadness and death I see. My blog friend Keri said in a recent blog that she struggles understanding loss of first children like Brent and I went through. I have that same struggle. Especially today and I talked to my sweet friend and tried to listen to her fears and pain of what tomorrow will hold. PLEASE join in prayer for my friends. (I am not sharing their names as I am not sure they have shared their tragedy with many people yet and I don't want to share something that they need to be able to tell people.)

Thursday, June 11, 2009

WOW


I don't even know what to say in this blog because I am so excited. Brent and I have become very close to the Covell family, Lisa and Cody. Cody is 6 and going into the 2nd grade. Although most days he acts more like 12 (as he likes to tell us). Lisa is a very young widow who works very hard at raising a little boy to be like Christ. You can't help but fall in love with this little ball of energy. At the beginning of summer, I offered to watch Cody two days a week while Lisa works. Cody and I have had a good time going on little adventures so far. We tend to eat lunch with Brent a lot and go to movies, swimming and lots of shopping! (just what he loves... he he) This week of course was VBS. We offered to pick up Cody each day and take him, since he just lives down the road from us.


On Wednesday during VBS the gospel was presented to all of the children. Cody's next door neighbor picked him up and brought him on that day, so we didn't get to see him. But this morning when I brought him to his class, his teacher (Heather Harbin, for those who know how awesome she is) met me in the hall and said "Well?" I gave her a puzzled look and said "Well what." She said Cody had talked to her in the hallway on Wednesday and said he wanted to pray to receive Christ, but wanted to wait and pray with his mom. Well Cody went home and never mentioned it. So.. I dropped off Cody and called Brent (who was upstairs getting ready for his skit). Brent was so thrilled and was looking forward to seeing Cody. We decided that Bren and Cody needed a "man's lunch date." So after VBS, Brent took Cody to lunch (a favorite spot of theirs) for lunch. When they came home, they sat at our kitchen table where Brent presented the gospel to Cody. Cody can be a silly, high energy child. But, during those few minutes that Brent was talking to him, Cody was focused and interested hanging on the words that Brent was sharing. Of course I was in the other room on my computer weeping! It was awesome. As Brent prepared to go to work, Cody came into talk to me. I asked if about what he was talking to Brent about. After a brief talk, Cody said that when he is a Christian, he will get to go to heaven. He said that means that one day he will get to see my baby boy Carter and his daddy, who both live in heaven right now! I just swept him into my lap and kissed all over him! There was nothing else I could do! (when I told his mom, she just balled!)


Brent had to go on to work and we decided that we would wait for Cody's mom before we actually prayed the prayer to receive Christ. Every parent deserves that chance to be with their children when they make the most important decision in their life. When Lisa came around 6 tonight, we all sat in our living room and Brent shared about all that had taken place today. Then Brent asked Cody some more questions and with confidence Cody said that he wants Jesus to live in his heart and that he wants to be forgiven of his sins and that he knows the only way to be forgiven is to believe in Jesus! So we all four held hands as Brent led us in a time of prayer. Lisa and I wept! Cody had so much energy and was non stop talking afterwards. It was different than we had seen before with him, like he felt his life was different today. He is becoming a different kid. He is a different kid, for now He is a Child of God!! WHEW!!! ISN'T GOD SOOOOOO GOOD!!! Pray for our little friend and his mom as they begin this journey. Pray for us as we continue to poor love and truth into his life, as well as the many other families that love on this family from our church!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Sweet Crocs

Special Needs kids (they are awesome) - Brent's class
5th grade B - Jenna's class

Our first garden


First green beans in our garden!! Check us out.



Can't believe it is day 3 already. What a day. Thank you to those who have been praying. We had one salvation in my group of 16 kids today. SWEET. I was in charge of sharing the gospel during out bible study time. I felt like I did not prepare as well as I could have because of some much going on, but God just started speaking for me. I felt so good after we were done. Not about me, but just the clear message God gave me. Then to see a salvation... now that is fruit from obedience. LOVE IT. I am posting the two videos of Brent today and a few pictures.

By the way.. I am putting in one little shot of our garden as well. We have beans now!!! We are so proud of ourselves.



video
video

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

ONYA

Each day at VBS gets better. Today the skit was so much fun. I put a small clip of the funniest part at the bottom. I would have to say my favorite part of the day was talking to my 5th graders about what it means to really worship. Some of them were getting it. It is so sweet to see some of the middle school kids grasp what it means to have a prayer life, time of devotion and study of God's Word. I really am looking forward to tomorrow, because Wednesday is when the gospel is presenting and time is allowed for kids to make a decision for Christ. If you think about it, pray for the kids at North Metro tomorrow between 9:30-10:30! (actually pray for our kids all week long!) The only reason we do this is for the kingdom!!
video

Monday, June 08, 2009

VBS Boomerang Express 2009 - day 1

Here is just a small clip of the worship introduction of VBS 2009! Although we are some weary people, the day was wonderful and we are looking forward to tomorrow. (by the way... this is Brent speaking Australian during the worship time. He is also helping in the special needs department. Jenna is helping to teach a 5th grade class). As part of a wonderful praise, I (Jenna) met a new friend at the library the other day and asked her to bring her girls to VBS. They showed up today and I was so thrilled that I had asked them to come. Doesn't it feel so good to be obedient? Why can't I do that all of the time?



video

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Summer is here

I have been terrible about keeping up with the blog lately. I guess sometimes I still revert back to my old way of thinking that since we don't have kids there isn't a lot to talk about. BUT... then I realize that there is so much going on and God is doing so much in our lives that I really do have tons to share.


I had an incredible month of May. I spent a weekend with 12 friends in Charleston SC at a Women of Joy conference. The conference was awesome (although I did not make it through the Casting Crown concert without balling). I think my favorite part of the weekend was just hanging with friends and getting to know my sisters better. Isn't just good to hang with girls sometimes?? I love it. Over memorial day weekend Brent and I traveled to NC to a wedding and then on to Maryland to celebrate my dad's retirement. Although bittersweet (he was not ready to retire) the Lord knows best and has a plan for his life and this was the time for Dad to stop working for IBM. Not many people can say they work almost 40 years at a company these days! What a great accomplishment! GO DAD!!



We came back home and have been running since. Brent and I have dreamed of counseling together since we got married 7 years ago. We have finally gotten the chance to start doing couples counseling together this Spring. We love it!

Brent and I both continue to pray and look forward to each month to find out if God has blessed us with another pregnancy. We have tried to plan our summer and year around the hope that we will be pregnant and need to stay close to home. Only God knows that plan and we are enjoying taking life one day at a time. (some days that is easier than others.) It has been hard not to compare our life now and last year at this time. We are not looking forward to Aug. 9th coming, but I know the day will come and will go and God will walk us through it all. In the meantime, we both feel strongly that God has asked us both to do some "special projects" and we ask that as the details are shown to us that you our blog friends pray for us. As details of what is come unfold, we will be sure to share!