Made it

It's a minute before midnight on Thursday, August 14, 2008, the day Brent and I buried our baby boy Carter. As a parent it is not supposed to happen this way. In fact we are supposed to be the one that is buried by own children. Oh how we wish that had been the experience for us. But today was beautiful. We had so many laughs, lots of love and a worshipful service to remind us of God's love. Our pastor reminded me that with each tear there will be a joy. I can't wait for joys. We actually had a joy today. Brent and I were able to hold Carter once more today. He didn't smell like the weak little baby when he was first born. He had a lot of make-up on and felt different than when we last held him on Sunday. But...he reminded me today so much of Brent. Even more today than on Saturday and Sunday. What a honor it is as a mother that my son looks just like my husband. As Brent peacefully sleeps right now, I can't help but to laugh as I lay on his chest and stare at his face remembering the peacefulness of my Carter. I will blog more about the day and all that it entailed. The funny things and the sadness and also the joy it all brought. I just had to say something tonight so I will always be reminded of how I felt at the end of this "dreadful day." I am falling asleep singing" Jesus, son of God in all the earth I praise you!"