I can't believe Sunday came and went. Just like that, a year has past since Carter's birth and death. I have to say that I made it through Sunday without tears (I began to well up during a song at church, but didn't break down). Many reading this may feel like that is heartless and cold. You have to understand, I begged the Lord to give us peace. I begged the Lord to make Carter's first birthday a celebration of his life here on earth and even more importantly now in heaven. Of course GOD DID IT!!! The cemetery was hot, but so peaceful and beautiful. We had such a wonderful day on Sunday. It was a true blessing. Friday will be a year since I last saw my sweet boy face to face. It will be one year since I was able to hold him in my arms. It will be a year since I last touched his face and kissed his sweet fingers and toes. As I look back on the year, I came smile and say... thank you Lord. You are good. Although, during this week, it has been hard. I had a special friend of mine, miscarry a baby last night. She actually lost her son last summer as well, and now suffered a miscarriage. It was such a blessing to me to be able to minister to her last night and love her and her husband. It was a gift that God would allow me to be used to minister to other women who also are going through this struggle of loss.
God placed a message in my heart last night that I placed on my facebook page. As I went throughout my day today, counseling several families who are contemplating divorce, or have been through loss themselves, God kept bringing this message to my heart.
I am so glad I serve a God who is bigger than my biggest enemy... greater than my greatest trial... more mighty than my most painful loss...and more awesome than my finite mind could ever imagine!! Now that is what I call victory!!
4 comments:
What an awesome testimony of the power of our God that He can give such peace that seems impossible through a human perspective. It is so obvious to me that God has given you a heart to minister to other families going through similar experiences. I wanted to pass this information along to you about another family who just lost their son who was born prematurely. This is a best friend of a friend of mine. I knew you would want to be able to pray for this family as you know so well the pain they are facing. Their blog is: http://jj-millernet.blogspot.com/
Hello Brent and Jenna,
First, we would like to Thank You for your thoughts and prayers. As you guys already know, it has been really tough.We are so sorry for your loss, but your testimony provides encouragement for us in this difficult time. We will continue to follow your blog and would like to keep in touch when possible.
Thanks again,
The Millers
Hey Jenna,
I just read your message on my blog. Thank you so much for sharing your story and journey with me. You are so right, it has been a year of suffering and pain, for both of us. I am just so sorry about both of your losses. I just am so grieved when I her more stories like mine. It's just all too common and I wish it weren't so.
I would agree with you about going through these losses again if I had to. To be able to carry both my kids again would be a delight, sad to know the outcome, of course, but a delight anyway. Thank you so much for praying for us to have kids some day. I pray that same thing for you as well. What a gift and a joy it will be when we hold our kids in our arms. I have to say that I have learned a lot about how our kids are a gift and on loan to us. We aren't guaranteed their safety no matter how old their are. And sometimes I think that if I could just hold my baby then he/she would be safe and I wouldn't have to worry about losing another one. Unfortunately, there is no "safe" age or time. All we can do is pray that God would give us what we need in the moment that we need it. And He does, He always provides.
Praying for you!!
Rebecca
(rebeccamutz@gmail.com)
Jenna, you don't know me, so I hope you don't mind my commenting. I am a friend of Jennifer Jordan's and have followed your blog through hers. I think this was a beautiful post. God has given you an awesome testimony and opportunity. I am so sorry you had to go through so much grief, but I am so glad you are using it to His glory!!
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