Friday, August 07, 2009

Opening Ceremony

As Brent was out watering the garden tonight , I couldn't help but think back to one year ago, what I was doing. (not so much about the date, but the day) I had spent the day with my friend Lisa and her son Seth at the movies. Brent had made dinner for us, and we both had been so excited about the opening ceremony of the 2008 Olympics. I laid down on the sofa telling Brent I was not feeling well. I finally decided that I would go upstairs and try to lay down in bed and relax and even fall asleep early, if possible. It had been a tough few days, full of stress and worry at how my pregnant body was not doing what it was supposed to be doing. After I had gotten in my own bed, the pain I was having got worse. Brent was exhausted and I told him to go to sleep and I would sleep in the other bed so that I would not wake him. I watch the Opening Ceremony for a second time before I was unable to stand the pain I had in my lower back much longer. I went in our room to wake up Brent and tell him I needed his help. I thought if he could rub my back or just put Bengay on my legs and back, I would feel better. I took two baths before the night was over. Sleep didn't come for most of the night. I may have slept for about 30 minutes here and there, but the pain kept coming and going. Of course now looking back, I can see that I was in the beginning stages of labor. If I had only known, maybe I would have made a different choice to go to the hospital sooner. If I had only known what I know now, maybe I would have called the doctor in the middle of the night and been more persistent and what I was feeling. If I had only known, maybe I would have chosen a different path to follow that night. BUT I didn't know. Sometimes I feel like that on this journey. Maybe if I had only known what I was about to endure this past year, I would have prepared better. I would have spent more time with the Lord, preparing my heart to be ready for what was to come. If I had only known I would have tried to create a different outcome. But I didn't know. Just another lesson that the Lord has taught me this year. I don't know what tomorrow holds. I don't know the future. I don't know His plans for my life. But I do know what it takes to be obedient. I do know what he has called me to do today. I strive more now to know Him more. I realize it doesn't change life; it won't change my circumstances; it won't make me less sad, or even make me less likely to head into the middle of a storm. But what it does do, is allows me to have a more intimate relationship with my Father. It brings me closer to the creator of my life and my story. It gives me peace during the biggest of storms, the toughest of days, as well as the greatest of moments that I experience. This night one year ago, was not only the Opening Ceremony to the Olympics the world would watch, but it became the opening ceremony for the journey we would walk for the rest of our lives. The lesson is, that I know who wins. I look forward to the day when we are able to stand on the podium before our judge and know that the award of eternal life and a life of obedience was worth the journey! Until that day, we will keep running this race, with our eye on the prize. For that makes this journey worth it!!

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