This is my struggle. I can't tell you how many times in a single week the question, "Do you have any children?" comes up. I was reading another friends blog who lost her son as well, and the struggle she has with this same question. This past Thursday was a pretty tough day for me, and being asked this question hurts sometimes. Before we had Carter, this question was easy for us. No we don't have children, or while we were pregnant, I would just proudly say that we were expecting our first in December. Now... this question is so bittersweet. I love it when people ask me because I am able to talk about my Carter and share his and our testimony of what the Lord is doing in our life. At the same time, answering this questions makes people give me the look of pity or they get very uncomfortable and stop talking with me. I just hate that all of this is so awkward and hard to talk about. I did have one lady who confused me with another friend of mine and thought that I was pregnant again. It killed me to tell her that it wasn't me it was someone else. Of course people are just trying to be helpful, but several ladies will tell me that I need to just keep waiting and not get pregnant too soon. "Give your body time to heal." My body is healed and I can have another baby in Feb, unless the Lord allows us to get pregnant before then. But, I just don't need to be reminded of the fact that I am not pregnant today. Bittersweet.
So don't be afraid to ask me about my son, and don't be afraid if I cry. I will cry some days, but don't be afraid of my tears. Let me cry. This is how God is healing my heart! Thanks to all of you who go out of your way to love on me and to help me through this time. SO... ASK ME!!
3 comments:
So nice to have an update! Glad you got to get this all down. Now for those pictures...
Your blog is already giving me so much comfort. Right now I feel very strong, but I also know that once I go back to work & immerse myself in the "real world," these questions will come & they will be difficult. We don't regret telling everyone, but un-telling is not something I look forward to. Many, many thoughts & prayers to you & your family.
Hey
I just wrote a long comment on here.. and now it has disappeared!
I just SAID.. geez.... that you have put words on something I feel. I feel punched when I am asked about kids.. and we are asked it so much! I've learned not to elaborate due to insensitive comments. So people make assumptions...I think people think I'm a liberal career woman. It's funny. AND you make another excellent point about asking.. I loved when people said they didn't ask b.c. they didn't want me to think about it. OH! Ok? That makes sense! It's a hard process anyways and this STUFF just makes it aggravating. Anyways- I really just wanted to say I think you have a great way with words! And thank you for using your words!
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