Sick Sick Sick

I have to share and hope not to offend any of my friends out there, but I am tired of women telling me they were never sick a day of their pregnancy! So many people have said, "I just can't imagine what that would be like." Well, I will spare you the details, and realize that in comparison to some friends of mine who had to get a pic line, that I have nothing to complain about, but morning sickness has been for the birds! When people tell me they never had this and make you feel like your crazy that you are sick, I sort of want to kindly poke their eyes out!!! (just kidding people, just kidding... well okay maybe just a few times I have felt that way but hey hormones right???) I have not wanted to sit down and blog about any of this, because really, when I feel good, I want to get things done or sleep or something else lazy like that.

We are getting more and more used to the idea of a baby. Although, there are still days that (me hating change) we think that life will never be just Brent and I any more! Then we think, but we don't want it any other way! Brent is so cute. He is reading all kinds of books and doing everything a first time father should be doing. He gets up early early each morning to make me a p and j sandwich in hope that if I eat something as soon as I open my eyes, I will not stay sick all day. He has cleaned the house and kitchen so many times and does not allow me to do anything around the house! He is fabulous! Not that I didn't already know that, that's why I married that man!! He is the best. He really will be the greatest father in the world too. I look forward to those days for sure. Everyone is telling me to just sit back and enjoy everything. Those must be the women that don't get sick for the first 12 weeks. The other funny thing has been all of the people who have guesses on what we will have. Everyone has their theory. Because I am so sick we have heard it is a girl or twins! I had one lady during a counseling session this week say it is a boy for sure because I have a younger sister! (what???) I had another lady tell me it's a boy because her ring made a circle near my hand!! (see why I am doing counseling with that one!! CRAZY LADY FOR SURE!!!) I heard that it is a girl because at night I have had cravings for sweets! (hate to tell them that pregnant or not, that has been going on forever!!)

I will try to be better about blogging of all you faithful fans! We are both still taking in all of the changes and feelings of being overwhelmed! Hang in there with us!

Honesty

So let me get down and honest! Many of you out there reading this already know this about me, that I get a little anxious about situations that I can't control! One thing in my life, so far - I have been able to completely control is my own self!! Brent and I have talked many many times about wanting a baby. But, for the past several years I have again controlled that situation as well! Finally, God has shown me that He is in control, becuase we found out today that we are having a baby. (my fingers are trembling as I type this out!) I have had to say to myself that God created women to have babies and women have babies all of the time! I just never really thought that we would actually have one! In fact I imagined that one day we would just adopt our children, and got to be okay with that. In a way, I am glad to have a place to talk about rational and irrational fears that I am going through. The neat thing is my seminary roommate is also having a baby and is due (from what we can tell) 9 days before I am! Our baby is due December 10, 2008. I know that is supposed to sound far away, but I am convinced that it is tomorrow. (more anxiety) As I blog I am watching Jon and Kate plus 8! 8 kids, I can't even imagine. Especially 6 of the same age. What a great show, expect now, it's a little overwhelming for me. It's also funny to me that recently a friend from church asked me to read a book with her, since she is also pregnant. I shared with her my fears and (she is also my care group leader) and she talked about being a support. How shocked she will be to know that is going to be sooner than later! So all of you out there in blog land, we (I) need major prayer. Prayer for the normal stuff you pray for friends when they are having a baby, but really pray for me right now, because this is not something I can do in my own strength. In fact, I am so beyond myself, and continue to tremble in fear, that I am completly living on God's strength right now. Not to mention, we live a whole lot of miles away from family. So for now, I feel like I am living for December 11th (totally planning on having this baby on the due date just like my mom!) Both my sister and I were born in like 1 hour and 20 minutes start to finish!! PRAY PRAY PRAY!!

Can't deny truth any longer