Clinging to Grace and Hope

I am sorry I have not been better at updating my blog.  To be honest, I have been weary and still trying to get my mind around all of this going on! Each day sets in more frustration and hurtful and yet we are clinging to whatever Hope we can. It's amazing that we have so many praying for us when we can't pray for ourselves.  We have so many with Hope when we feel like giving up.

We had to make a very hard decision this week to seek out a new OB.  It was an awesome decision.  We love our new doctor.  She appears to be  Godly women that told us she doesn't hope for a miracle but she expects a miracle!  So do we.  She gave us so much to hope for during our appointment.  We both walked out with renewed strength.  At the same time, when I take a second to process all that is going on, I still feel so overwhelmed and trying to hold on to the edge of the cliff before I fall into the sea. 

If you look online the condition our little has, all the facts point to 99 to 100% fatal condition.  The baby has two conditions.  It's called Cystic Hydroma with fetal hydrops.  Basically is it fluid on the back of the head and neck as well as surrounding the whole body.  On top of that my placenta has attached very low which means no excessive movements, no working out or any other excessive moving around.  Right now our first concern is the placenta then its the fluids. But really I am just nervous and overwhelmed by it all.  It felt so great today to celebrate with friends to news of renewed hope.  But in the quiet moments of life, I can't help but dwell on the possible reality of what the future may hold.  Still trying to grasp all the God is trying to teach us since our journey began in 2008.  One thing for sure He is showing me is what I read the other day in from devotion.

I am with you, and FOR YOU! You face NOTHING along - NOTHING!!!!  When you feel anxious, know that your are focusing on the visible world and leaving Me out of the picture. The remedy is simple: Fix your eyes not on what is seen but on what is unseen. Verbalize your trust in me, Living One who sees you always. I will get you safely through this day and all your days.  But you can find ME only in the present.  Each day is a precious gift from My Father.  How ridiculous to grasp for future gifts when today's is set before you! Receive today's gift gratefully unwrapping it tenderly and delving into its depths. As you savor this gift, you find Me.  - Jesus Calling by Sarah Young.

So what can you all do?  Pray pray pray!

1. Pray for complete healing of the hydrops and hydroma
2. Pray for Hope for Brent and I
3. Pray for knowledge and protection for our dr.
4. Pray for us financially as we both have to work and that is become harder for me. Also we are finally coming out from under all we went through with Carter and finishing paying off all that cost and now we starting all over again.
5.  Pray for us to be patient with each other as we process all that is going on.
6.  Last pray for our little one's life and the testimony and purpose the Lord has on it's life.