I have had so much on my plate in the last few weeks. But, I need more. We have been praying about ways to increase the amount of clients that I see each day, so that we can get even more serious about being debt free. We have also been talking a lot about just the frustration and pain each month that goes by that we are still not pregnant. But again, the cost of going to a specialist and starting that process is overwhelming. For me, it has been almost an obsession for me the last few days. Then last night, it was like the Lord just spoke out loud to me!! I couldn't help sobbing. As my husband lay in bed watching the football game on TV, I opened up my devotional book. I had to read it out loud because of how perfect it was for Brent and I. Of course, I couldn't even get half the words out through my tears, but the message penetrated my heart for sure. I have been reading a book by Sarah Young and Sept 6th says: (the Lord is talking)
DO EVERYTHING IN DEPENDENCE ON ME. The desire to act independently-apart from Me - springs from the root of pride. Self-sufficiency is subtle, insinuating its way into your thoughts and actions without your realizing it. But apart from ME YOU CAN DO Nothing that is, nothing of eternal value. My deepest desire for you is that you learn to depend on Me in EVERY SITUATION. I move heaven and earth to accomplish this purpose, but you must collaborate with Me in this training. Teaching you would be simple if I negated your free will or overwhelmed you with My power. However, I love you too much to withdraw the godlike privilege I bestowed on you as My image-bearer. Use your freedom wisely, by relying on ME CONSTANTLY. Thus you enjoy MY PRESENCE and MY PEACE.
What perfect timing that was for me. Isn't it funny, that nothing has changed. I am still not pregnant, we still need to increase our income, I still need a newer car that can get me from place to place, I still need to lose more weight...faster, I still need to make major decisions in our lives about a long list of things that need to be done now... BUT what has changed is that I need to remember to DO EVERYTHING DEPENDING ON HIM! Which free's me up from everything.
