I sometimes associate this blog with so much pain. I think that is why often I ignore it or even avoid writing how I feel. There is so much hurt, sorrow, pain, frustration we have daily. But then there is still that hope I deal with on a daily basis. I have a false sense that I need to be strong and just keep plugging away with life to be a witness for others. And there are days that I can do that. Then some days I can't go a few minutes without the tears coming so easy. I feel defeated. I feel hopeless. Not a hopeless as in the Lord has forgotten me and my desires and dreams, but a hopeless that maybe we are supposed to have chidren here on earth. THEN... the next minute I hold onto Psalms 37:4... knowing God will give us the desires of our hearts.
I started the above blog in Feb. and still haven't posted it. But then this week, God showed me something powerful. I seemed to have a running theme with my clients right now. I have seen a lot of hopeless families, couples that are defeated in their marriages, and a lot of people questioning why their life is so frustrating. I would be lying if I said I never had that thought. I started to ask the Lord to really give me a freshness from His Word and to show me His way of seeing life. And of course He did!
If your like me, I often try to do the same things again and again and just hope life turns out different. I began to realize Friday's were really rough days for me. I don't work on Fridays, I usually have very little interactions with friends, I am normally so tired I am just ready to throw in the towel for the week, and feel defeated. I often make things worse by heading to the cemetary which brings me down more. But this week, I made some changes. I worked out with friends today instead of on Monday. I have a list of things that need to be done before tomorrow. Already I feel strength.
On my way home from the gym I heard this song on radio and knew God was speaking to me. It also brought clients and friends to my mind to stop and pray for. It was exactly what I needed. The song is "Before the Morning" by Josh Wilson. My favorite line in the whole song is: The Pain that your feeling, CAN'T compare to the joy that's coming!! Isn't that awesome. To think that the pain that God has allowed in my life, or your life if NOTHING compared to the joy we have coming. That gets me so excited. The pain that I am feeling is just the dark before the morning. With morning comes new mercies each day. So I just have to dare to believe. I don't just dare to believe.... I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE!!!! I know I serve a God who knows me, loves me and wants GOOD stuff for me. Thank you Jesus! Praise you Jesus. Thank you Jesus!!
